Reflections on 2015

When there's a death at the end of the year (Mew crossed the Rainbow Bridge on Christmas Eve) and one is working through grief it can be all too easy to be sucked into the Swamp of Sadness and lose sight of all of the good things that happened throughout the year.

Since Christmas, I've been struggling to remember all the good things that happened this year. So to help pull myself out of my sadness, I spent some time looking at my calendar to jog my memory of all the things that happened this year. 

January - involved a lot of food and drinks with friends. What is it about winter that makes us eat so much?

Best Ethiopian food is at West Side Bazaar.

February - Queen City Roller Girls bouts. If you ever make it up to Buffalo during derby season, you have to go. It's one of the many things I miss about living up there. 

March - a trip to NYC to see my beloved. 

April - camping trip to Allegany State Park. I swear New York has some of the best state parks in the country. 

A little bit of paradise in WNY. 

May - a life changing move from Buffalo to Brooklyn to be with my Habibi. 

This view never grows old.

June - Habibi surprised me with a trip to to Coney Island for my 40th birthday. It was one of the best birthdays ever.

Best view of Coney Island is from the top of the ferris wheel.

July - most weekends were spent at the beach. Yes, NYC has great access to the Atlantic Ocean.

If I could live at the beach I would.

August - a trip to West Point Academy to see my oldest nephew inducted as a freshman, I'm a proud proud auntie.

September - Habibi's Mamma came to visit. She and I spent the day in Central Park to see a glimpse of Pope Francis. 

It's the Pope!

October - Habibi and I went to San Fransiciso for import.io's huge data conference. Its a city we both love and can't wait to go back.

One of the highlights, getting to hear Andrew Ng talk.

November - A much needed weekend away with extended family at Thanksgiving.

December - a job offer for a teaching job I really wanted, stoked for it to start January 4th. 

If you're having a rough end to 2015, go look at your own calendar and see all the good things that happened. It can be little things, coffee with friends or big trips to places you've never been. 

It's important to remember that even when we're dealing with grief that there are good things all around us. We just need to take the time to see it. 

Hugs For Your Head & Soul

If you've seen my Instagram page, it may come as no surprise that I just finished another hat for Habibi a couple days ago.

I've been teased by the number of hats I've made for him this past year (five, which to me doesn't seem like that many).

"How many hats does he need?" my Mom often likes to joke.

I have knit up a couple hats for neighbors, so they've not all been for Habibi!

I lean towards knitting hats because they're quick, easily portable, and when finished are like a hug for your head. It just happens to be an added bonus that Habibi is a huge fan of them. (Honestly, I'm glad he likes hats more than socks, I've tried making socks, I have One Sock Syndrome like no other knitter I know).

But I think the biggest reason why I knit hats more than anything else is that I find the process of making hats calming in a way I've yet to find in other projects. Knitting hats is like cuddling up with a security blanket, especially when my anxiety rears its ugly head.

When I'm knitting I don't think about anything else other than the stitch I'm on. I have to focus on where I am and what comes next. The repetitive nature of counting which stitch I'm on is very meditative in nature.

It's one of the reasons I tend to stick with the same patterns when my anxiety flares up. The familiarity is comfortable, calming. After knitting a pattern more than once, I often don't have to look at the pattern, allowing me to focus only on what's in my hands. Everything else falls away, during these moments of knitting my mind is calm, not racing as it normally does. I'm not thinking and worrying about all the things that could go/are wrong.

Anxiety sucks, there have been days since Mew's illness where it's been tough to get out of bed or leave the house because my anxiety over her well-being and future were off the charts. Knitting gave me much needed breaks from it all when it all felt like too much to bear. 

So if my love of knitting hats means Habibi could open his own hat store in the next year or two because his hat collection has gotten so big, the so be it. He'll have the best hat collection of anyone in Brooklyn. 

Hats made with love, fueled by anxiety, and mini hugs for his head.  

Arm Knitting: Fad or New Standard?

Have you jumped on the arm knitting train? It's been pretty popular the past two years, but does it have the longevity to become part of the standard knitting repertoire?

Knitting projects can take anywhere from a few hours to a few months, or longer, depending on the amount of time you have in your schedule as well the complexity of the project. I'm all about the hat because they can be knit up relatively fast (I've a post coming out later this week on my love of hats).

(I've been taking a MOOC via Coursera on social media marketing. The class I'm currently enrolled in is on Engaging and Nurturing Marketing Strategies and one of our assignments is to create a blog post about trends we see in our target market area. So this post is a combination of assignment and update.)

I'm not going to lie, I've avoided the arm knitting craze for a while now, big, bulky yarns and scarves just aren't my thing. But since the weather as the weather's starting to get colder and I'm seeing more and more women wearing arm knit scarves and cowls, I thought that it'd be a good time to revisit the arm knitting craze.

A while back Wall Street Journal published an article by Rachel Dodes, entitled "Millennial Knitters Embrace Arm Knitting" in which she discusses the popularity of arm knitting among the Millennials. Ms. Dodes talks about its acceptance in the knitting community, where its origins may lie, as well as the frustrations some new arm knitters face during the learning process. Ms. Dodes provides excellent insight on the topic for those who fall on either side of the debate.

Image courtesy of Flax & Twine 

The second article I found was a post on Karen Templer's blog, Fringe Association, entitled "The moment my anti-"arm knitting" resolve crumbled." In it she discusses how she refused to get sucked into the arm knitting craze until one day while she was out came across the book Knitting Without Needles while out and about. After spending some time looking at the book, then the author's website, her opinion began to change and succumbed to the craze.

What do you think? Does being able to have a project done in an hour or less negatively impact the craft?

Or does arm knitting open knitting up to a new audience?  

Tell me what you think in the comments, or pop by my Twitter account and tell me your thoughts.

Veterinary Experience From Hell

Almost three weeks ago, Habibi and I rushed our cat Mew to one of the local 24 hour emergency pet clinics. It was one of the worst days of my life, seeing my cat hover between life and death, watching my Habibi nearly inconsolable. So needless to say when we got to the clinic weren't in the best emotional state. 

Our talk with the attending vet was one I don't wish on any pet owner. Our choices were, watch her slowly die/have her put to sleep or take out a line of credit through Care Credit so she could get admitted and treatment started. How screwed up is that? What kind of care is that? Aren't vets supposed to put the needs of the animal first and work with their owners to come up with a payment plan once treatment is started?

On Way to ER

My experience with this clinic has shaken my trust in veterinary care to the core. I will now never know for sure if a vet has my pet's need as a priority or if they're just trying to pad the invoice. This clinic uses the emotional state of their clients against them in order for them to sign up for Care Credit, a completely predatory action, one that I find unethical. 

We took Mew in on a Sunday and went to visit her Monday night, it wasn't a visit I looked forward to. I talked with the attending vet earlier in the day and things weren't looking good for Mew, she was still really dehydrated and still wasn't eating. On top of that, they suspected that she was diabetic as well as possibly having liver cancer. Cancer wasn't even something I could bear to think about. It was all too much to take in. 

Visiting Mew

It was really hard to see Mew in her state, the uncertainty of it all. What didn't help ease our mind was that the overnight attending doctor didn't have the best bedside manner. Habibi brought up to him that we suspected Mew might be suffering from prolonged exposure to carbon monoxide poisoning, the vet he wouldn't even consider it as a possibility. I know I'm not a vet, but when a client provides more information wouldn't it be beneficial to look into it? Had Mew been in any better shape we would have taken her home right then and there. Habibi demanded that she placed in oxygen. Low and behold, the next day when we called to see how she was doing we were told she was eating and had perked up.

Space Kitty in the Oxygen Tank

Tuesday night I was on my way to a knitting class when Habibi called me. I told me that he had just gotten off the phone with the clinic. They called to let us know that the cost of Mew's care for not even two and half days was just over $4000. 

$4000.

Angry is an understatement. We were (and still are) furious. We knew she was receiving IV fluids, had been given a liver biopsy (looking back on it I think was completely unnecessary), oxygen (per our request), and had been given two doses of insulin. As for her other agreed upon treatments? No clue that she was receiving any other treatments or medication. We were told she was too weak to get anything other than an IV.

As a pet owner how would you feel if you were told one course of action was being taken and a completely different one was? Betrayed, right? Well that’s how we feel. How can I now ever believe that a vet has my animal’s welfare as a priority?

We have so many unanswered questions. How do we know she needed the medicines that were administered? Were they prescribed because they were necessary for her to live? Or were they given so the clinic could charge us more to our Care Credit thus allowing them to increase their revenue?

Looking at Mew’s records, along with Habibi's amazing research skills. We're unable to determine why they gave her some of the medicines they did, especially antimicrobials. None of her symptoms met they criteria for her to receive them, which are to only be given when there's a sign of severe infection. Why was she given them if her condition didn't meet the standards set out in Basic Guidelines of Judicial Therapeutic Use of Antimicrobials?

How can we even believe her diabetes diagnosis is correct? Their administration of insulin doesn't line up with the 2010 AAHA Management Guideline for Dogs and Cats. Due to this culmination of events, I am unable to trust that Mew’s diagnosis of diabetes is correct.

If this clinic didn't follow industry standards of care for my Mew, how many other people's pets have they done this to?  

After Habibi talked with the attending vet on Tuesday evening, we decided to bring Mew home early. Not because we wanted to but because we couldn’t afford to keep her in hospital any longer. Since bringing her home I’ve been nothing but one big ball of anguish, stress, and anxiety. I feel I’ve failed her because we couldn’t keep her in for an extra day or two. I’m scared to leave the house for extended periods of time because, while she’s regaining her strength, she is still very fragile. I want the vet to put themselves in my shoes and ask them: How would you feel if you went through this with your own pet?

Cleo giving Mew some TLC

We are far from rich. Bringing Mew to the hospital will have lasting financial repercussions. But what other choice did we have? To have her put to sleep? We like the majority of people in our position are caught in a bind. Do we put our beloved animal to sleep because we’re unsure whether or not we’ll be able to cover the cost? Or do we break the bank? No one should be put in that decision space. Especially when they need to come to the ER. I have to believe that at one point the vets really and truly loved animals, but the desire for higher profits changed them. There is something inherently wrong, in using people’s emotions to get them to sign up for Care Credit. Alternative means of payment plans have to be available with lower interest fees that can be used to help with the cost.  

So, if you have a vet you love hold on to them for as long as possible. Good vets who really put the needs of their patients first are hard to find. If you're unsure about your vet, ask questions, do research, and if necessary, find yourself a new vet. If we don't stand up for our pet's health, who will?

Home for the Holidays? Should You Bring Extra Knitting? The Answer is Always "Yes."

One of the challenges when packing for any extended travel is, how much knitting to bring. It can be a tough decision especially when you're almost done with a project, aren't 100% sure how much longer it's going to take, or if you're going to have time to work on it. 

I spent the Thanksgiving holiday with extended family in Connecticut. While packing for the trip I brought along a hat I'd been working recently on during my morning commute.

While packing, I couldn't decide whether or not to bring along more yarn, just in case I finished the hat. After everything was all said and done, I decided against it because of space constraints.

It proved to be a bad decision.

I finished the hat late Thanksgiving and was without knitting for a full three days.

Non-knitters may not get how challenging it is not to be without a project for a few days. They're probably thinking, "But it's only three days!" Yes, I've gone more than three days without knitting in the past, but the *option* to knit was there. When the option is taken away because of poor planning, three days seems like an eternity. 

So, when you pack for your next trip and are unsure whether or not to bring extra knitting just to be safe. The answer should always be yes. 

Villains Knit v. 1.5

When I first had the idea for Villains Knit, my goal was to be a resource for new knitters looking for help when they got stuck.

It didn't turn out that way.

At all.

I panicked, doubting my ability as a knitter and a writer to provide meaningful and helpful content that anyone would want to read. (Writing content for other people is so much easier than writing your own.) So, like others who suffer from anxiety what did I do? I froze, did nothing, like a deer in headlights. Hence there haven't been any updates in what seems like forever.

While taking the train into the City this morning I was able to get a seat. (If you live in NYC you know what a rarity it is during rush hour.) And what did I do? I knit. While working on my Habibi's new hat it hit me: my blog doesn't have to be all knitting all the time.

Knitting is my security blanket when life and anxiety throws me curve balls. Life is a work in progress so why shouldn't my blog be, right?

So, here it goes, welcome to Villains Knit v. 1.5. 

My life, held together though knitting.