Back in January I had these grand plans of updating my blog on a weekly basis. It's now the middle of March and I've posted how many times?
Early February I got slammed with one of the longest bouts of anxiety I think I've ever experienced. It was a daily battle not only to get out of bed, but to make it through the day without losing my shit in front of my students. (Wouldn't that endear me to them? Bawling without being able to tell them why. Ha!)
More so than any other anxiety bout, this time everything seemed extra difficult, heavy. Even my knitting, which has been the one thing I could count on to help pull me out of it or at least ensure I didn't fall deeper into the hole wasn't doing it. I'm grateful I didn't completely stop knitting, but there was a definite slowdown.
Normally it takes me a little over a week to knit up a hat, taking into account the pattern, yarn weight, and the ability to get a seat on the train during my commute. The hat I just finished for Habibi took me over a month. That's the norm when I'm knitting for myself, but for him? Practically unheard of. That's how I knew things were bad.
Thankfully, with the improved weather and more sunlight, I'm finally coming out of it. But it's always there, in the back of my mind, waiting to strike. The only thing I can do when it does, is to battle it back with my two pointy sticks.
